The Naive Nine and their appointed nicknames:

1. Howard the Duck Dean
2. John Heinz Fword Kerry
3. Richard Dadwasamilktruckdriver Gephardt
4. Wesley George B. McClelland Clark
5. Joe Stilla Loserman
6. Carol Mostly Gone
7. Dennis Truly a Menace Kucinich
8. Al Jesse Wannabe Shapton
9. John Ambulancechaser Edwards