Only God Brings Us Out

An American Baptist Pastor thanking God for taking her OUT of homosexuality bondage? Interesting...I wonder what those AWABers think. Thanks with a tip of the hat to Glenn Wade for bringing this item to my attention...

Venus Magazine - Cover Story

Only God!

Reported by Charlene E. Cothran
Images by Kristen Swartz

There is nothing new under the sun. I’m pretty sure that gay folks have been around since shortly after the beginning of time. But what I’m just realizing is that God has been DELIVERING gay folks for just as long! For such a time as this, He has called out, sanctified and planted some incredibly powerful and wonderful people. One such person is the Rev. Carla Thomas Royster, founder and pastor of Blessed Redeemer Church in Burlington, NJ. An educator in one of New Jersey’s finest school districts, Royster also holds a Master of Divinity which prepared her for the work given her by divine appointment.

The 6’ 4” former college basketball star immediately strikes you as a no-nonsense disciplinarian. Then she smiles and her love for God and people fill the room.

A seven year pastor to a growing congregation, Royster enjoys a sterling reputation both locally and throughout the Northeast via the American Baptist association of churches where she is often featured as a speaker. She and husband Mark are raising two beautiful boys. With all going so well, why would she bother to expose herself to a congregation who knew nothing of her previous life as a lesbian in a tell-all book? “To set people free,” says Royster who withheld her original manuscript for nearly five years. “I finally obeyed God.”

VENUS: The book title describes your testimonial experience as a 'struggle' with a lesbian spirit. In this age of sexual liberty explain the word 'struggle' as it pertains to your experience. Was the 'struggle' between choosing gay/straight or heaven/hell or happy/unhappy, purpose/no purpose?

ROYSTER: The struggle was the traditional struggle between the Spirit and the flesh, for all that my flesh desired and fed, was immediately convicted by my spirit. It was a struggle with my inner self and my outer self. That Is why I heavily identify with Apostle Paul's testimony found in Romans 7: 18-20 "I know that in me (that is, in my flesh) nothing good dwells; for to will is present with me, but how to perform what is good, I do not find. For the good that I will to do, I do not do; but the evil I will not to do, that I practice. Now if I do what I will not to do, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me."

VENUS: Your writing style works incredibly well. It dances between the 'THEN' [in a lesbian's voice] and the 'NOW' [in the voice of an experienced pastor who has been delivered from being lesbian] Why was it important to separate these voices?

ROYSTER: God Bless You. The separation of the voices is empowering for me, for it is symbolic of Gods delivering power in my life. For years I was so entangled in my inner and outer life (that is: the Carla that I was within, and the Carla that I presented to other people) that even I could not predict what would trigger my lesbian desires. When I began to get into my Word and seek clarity in prayer, I found that one of my most powerful strongholds was the inability to separate my lesbian voice, from my delivered voice. I was ashamed, and worried about allowing that voice to speak in my delivered life, because whenever it had spoken in the past, it would initiate a hostile take-over. But today I write in two voices, one that reflectively reminds me of my life before Christ, and one that humbly basks in the knowledge of Gods delivering presence in my life today. I feel like Paul who wrote: I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Phillipians 3:13-14

VENUS: When and how did you begin to recognize God calling you out of homosexuality?

ROYSTER: I began to sense God calling me out of a variety of things as soon as I truly began to get into His presence. By that I mean studying His Word for myself, praying, meditating, fasting, tithing (giving my time talent treasure to the work of the kingdom). In short, the call from homosexuality came for me as soon as I ceased to be conformed to this world, but decided to be transformed by the renewing of my mind in Christ Jesus. Romans 12:2

VENUS: When and how did you begin to answer your call into the ministry and pastoral calling?

ROYSTER: I knew that God had blessed me with spiritual gifts from childhood...but being unchurched, I did not understand what that meant, or how they would ever be translated into something that would be a blessing to anyone, even myself. Romans 11:29 says: the gifts and calling of God are without repentance. I did not understand this until I was deeper in God's Word. I interpret it as meaning that our gifts can be used or abused (abnormally used). For instance, a gift of prophecy can be used in fortunetelling, witchcraft, or palm-reading (same gift -different uses) My call was always upon me, I was the captain, president, or spokesperson for every club, team organization I ever joined, the gift and the call to leadership, discernment and exhortation was just being abused for the first 20 or 30 years, but now the gifts are being multiplied for His Good! Once I grasped all that I could alone, and in Bible study, I applied for and was accepted into a Masters Program at a local seminary, and from there I was anchored in my passion for His Word....and as I began to minister, sing, preach, teach and lead worship, His anointing began to unfold....and next came my graduation, examination, ordination, calling to plant churches, and the pastorate. Thank God for grace!!

VENUS: What were your initial fears regarding publishing this book? Have those fears proven right or wrong?

ROYSTER: My initial fear was that the publishing of my book would hurt and expose those that I loved and cherish the most. I held it in complete manuscript form for over 5 years, until God sent a prophet into our midst to liberate my heart, mind, soul and spirit in ways I never imagined. Our family, like many other African-American families is immersed in secrecy, and we tend to be closed especially as it relates to pain, and suffering, –although our pain has constantly and generationally expressed itself in passive-aggressive ways that I have found to be far more destructive than just dealing with it out front. So for me, my greatest fear was that my truth would trespass on the territory of those who had not yet embraced their own truths.

Yes, my fears were proven right, because even though my self-exposure has helped thousands of others gain deliverance in areas that sometimes involve sexuality, but often did not, many pivotal people in my life have not yet read the book, and I respect the fact that everyone is not ready for this level of disclosure.

VENUS: What stands out as the most adverse reaction to your coming out story?

ROYSTER: The uncensored, descriptive, unapologetic, raw, nature of my testimony has caused more concerns than anything else. I find that people say "we want the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth" but the whole TRUTH is wanted in a way that is palatable, and easy to digest or it is not wanted at all. People in and out of my religious circles are not prepared to hear that "my first love was a woman," or that "I had an abortion", or that "I was abused", because it is not comfortable. It is almost as if some people want me to go back and live my life over, so that it can be easier for them to digest, but I can't change the past...and if it is difficult to read, try having to live it! So my answer to those who are offended is "I am sorry if my testimony offends you...but It is what it is." The other concern is that many people want to argue with me, about whether I was ever lesbian, while others feel obligated to say to me, I knew you were gay!! But God has me in a place of peace so I do not argue or debate, I just respond by telling them that "the half hasn't even been told"..and "my testimony is what it is."

VENUS: What has been the most supportive or positive reaction or outcome?

ROYSTER: My husband and my first and only heterosexual girlfriends, and my church have been 100% supportive. I did not bring it up to them until I was about to publish and their love, and support for me has not changed. Struggling with what I call my lesbian spirit has also been my husband’s struggle, because when I struggle so does he, because we are one in the spirit. I was concerned that my congregation would ask me to sit down or kick me out, or that my denomination would call me into counsel. But God always knows what He is doing because the release of my book has served to deepen my relationships on every level...and I love and Thank God for each and every relationship He has deepened.

Also I have been blessed to meet wonderful, courageous, Holy Ghost filled women like you, Sister Cothran. It is so wonderful to be able to talk to someone without having to over-explain and fill in the blanks. I 've had some very negative expressions shared with me over the months with people calling me "a liar," "homophobic" and the like...and I am okay with feedback that is negative and positive, because it is in our differences of opinion, and experience ...where the dialogue lies. But I have also heard testimonies, offered counsel, and prayed for people, as I have been blessed to witness the deliverance of the Lord manifested in a variety of ways.

The greatest positive is that I would not have been a part of a conversation that has deepened my understanding, my relationships and my faith, unless I had first allowed "my truth to set me free" (John 8:32) and a portion of my truth can be found in: Only God Brings Us Out Of The Closet: An Uncensored Testimony of One Woman's Struggle With Life and a Lesbian Spirit. www.onlygodbringsusout.org

The Real Civil War in the Mideast

It is often asserted that the conflict in Iraq is actually a civil war (an assertion which I believe to be factually inaccurate). The real civil war in the Mideast is among the Palestinians, with Fatah in control of the West Bank and Hamas in control of Gaza. Here's an angle you won't here about from the MSM (mainstream media): Gaza and the gospel.

Christians express concerns over their future in Gaza

Public Christian Library run by the Gaza Baptist Church

Gaza (MNN) -- Christians in the Gaza Strip expressed concern about their future after Islamic militants of Hamas took control of the Palestinian territory.

Open Doors' Carl Moeller says Hamas' takeover brought weeks of violence to an end. But having Hamas in charge may not necessarily be a good thing. The social and economic infrastructure has totally broken down. "Hamas will rule in Gaza, and if that's the case, Gaza will be cut off from any aid from the outside world. We know that there are also Christians locked into that same place, there in Gaza. We're praying for them, and we are asking the Christian community to provide resources."

The international embargo and boycott has worsened, and Gaza border crossings have been sealed, preventing supplies from reaching Gaza's 1.5 million residents, 80 percent of whom live under the poverty line.

Militants have reportedly been targeting everything that is against their view of Islam. Several sources with Open Doors have confirmed the firm grip of fear created by Muslims militants over the society. They say that especially believers from a Muslim background are afraid to be discovered and killed by militant forces. Not many have the courage to have contact with other Christians. Fear is trying to creep in everywhere.

Moeller says there's a few hundred evangelical believers trapped in Gaza. These people are caught in the crossfire, without supplies, unable to leave, but determined to share the hope of Christ. "They're caught between radical Islam on the one side and Israel on the other, and they're trying to follow after the Lord's admonition to be peacemakers in the middle of that violent place."

Pray that the political tension will cease and that a government will be established that enables the whole church to prosper.

Random Thoughts

A few random thoughts....

FAREWELL this week to one of the church's great ladies, Ruth Bell Graham. I urge everyone to read his bio here. Also read here.

BUSY, BUSY, BUSY, but I asked for it. As mentioned in an earlier blog, I'm taking the Perspectives course at the US Center for World Mission. In a class of 46, 43 are younger than me, and I feel like my years and training (under the late J. Christy Wilson, Jr.) give me an unfair advantage.

I have the first edition of the HUGE (about 1000 pages) Perspectives book, and it's interesting to see how how it's changed. In a word the course has become "Piperized"--that is, the direct and indirect influence of John Piper has changed the course--mostly to the good.

DR. DAVID SCHOLER. I read the LA Times story about David Scholer via Dennis McFadden's blog . Dennis knows Dr. Scholer from his time as Interim Pastor of FBC Pasadena; I knew him as a seminary professor at Gordon-Conwell. (I had the very last class he taught at GCTS; we was packing his formidable library each night and gave us a blow by blow account of the process.) Be sure to read the Times story.

A Father's Day Message

When Fathers Pray: The Ultimate In Homeland Security
June 17, 2007

Here’s a moment every father can relate to, from a dad named Scott Taylor. He writes,

A few years ago on a lazy Saturday morning my son Philip, then 5, invited himself into my bed. After about 5 minutes of intense tickling, wrestling and laughing, we collapsed together on the now coverless, pillowless bed. It was just a few seconds later that he raised his head from my chest, looked into my eyes, and said, "Dad, your the bestest Daddy in the whole wide world." And then, before I even had a chance to sample this precious morsel of parental affirmation he added, as he lay back down beside me, "And you’re a buggar-head!"

Here are some words that most dads have said at some time or another to their children.

This is going to hurt me more than it hurts you.

Quiet. I’m watching the ball game.

Don’t forget to check the oil.

Bring back all the change

Who changed touched the thermostat?

Where is the remote control?

Do I look like I’m made out of money?

If you don’t quit, that I’m going to call your mother.

If you don’t tell mom neither will I.

Just wait till you have kids of your own.

Another son wrote home to his dad. He said, "Dear Dad, Please let me hear from you more often, even if it’s only a five or a ten."

Did you hear about the children who begged their parents for a hamster and after the usual fervent vows that they alone would care for it, they got one. They named it Danny. Two months later, when mom found herself responsible for cleaning and feeding the creature, she located a prospective new home for it. The children took the news of Danny’s imminent departure quite well, though one of them remarked, “He’s been around here a long time—we’ll miss him.” “Yes,” mom replied, “But he’s too much work for one person, and since I’m that one person, I say he goes.” Another child offered, “Well, maybe if he wouldn’t eat so much and wouldn’t be so messy, we could keep him.” But mom was firm. “Its time to take Danny to his new home now,” she insisted. “Go and get his cage.” With one voice and in tearful outrage the children shouted, “Danny? We thought you said, ‘Daddy’!”

Many dads have abandoned their calling from God, and many wonder if we even need dads. Maybe we can just get rid of dad, like a messy hamster. This morning I want to take on that attitude. I want all dads to both understand and embrace what God has placed them here to do.

In summer, 2001, the term homeland security had no meaning whatsoever. But that changed on 911.Not long after 911 President Bush created a new cabinet position for homeland security. America has an enemy – an enemy the for the most part remains hidden in the shadows waiting for the perfect moment to strike. Homeland security is not cheap. The bill this year is nearly 40 billion dollars. When the homeland is threatened it is time for the leaders to step up to the plate. It is time for them to protect their people – it is time for them to use the best resources that they have at their disposal.

If you have your Bible, turn to 2 Chronicles 20. I want us to read a passage that will show us what a leader of Israel did when his homeland was threatened. I want us to see what, the most powerful resource we have to protect our homeland, is.2 Chronicles 20:5-9

5 Then Jehoshaphat stood up in the assembly of Judah and Jerusalem at the temple of the LORD in the front of the new courtyard 6 and said: "O LORD, God of our fathers, are you not the God who is in heaven? You rule over all the kingdoms of the nations. Power and might are in your hand, and no one can withstand you. 7 O our God, did you not drive out the inhabitants of this land before your people Israel and give it forever to the descendants of Abraham your friend? 8 They have lived in it and have built in it a sanctuary for your Name, saying, 9 'If calamity comes upon us, whether the sword of judgment, or plague or famine, we will stand in your presence before this temple that bears your Name and will cry out to you in our distress, and you will hear us and save us.'

What did Jehoshaphat do when his homeland was threatened? He prayed!

Prayer is - coming into the presence of God; it is entering the throne room of the KING of kings and LORD of lords; it is communicating with the creator of the world; it is bringing our questions to the one who has the answers; it is connecting our lives with the ALL knowing, ALL present – and ALL powerful KING of kings… Prayer is coming near to God…

I love what Moses told the people in Deuteronomy 4:7; “What other nation is so great as to have their gods near them the way our Lord is near us whenever we pray to him?”Prayer can do anything, because prayer is partnering with God, and as Jesus tells us, “With God all things are possible.” (Matthew 19:26)

Prayer can do anything but we have to ask! When the church prays, things happens, wonderful things…

When the church prays:

We become united

We receive divine guidance in important kingdom decisions

We unleash the power of God

The word of God comes alive

People get saved

And when the church prays – the church prays more…

I want us to think about a different homeland that needs security. I want you to think about an enemy that has declared war on the church and on your home. An enemy that scripture says is like a lion just want for the right moment and the right person to attack. An enemy who like, America’s enemy is usually unseen and hidden… An enemy that has great power and will stop at nothing less then totally destroying us. America is not the first homeland to be threatened…

God has always had a homeland security plan. A major component of the plan is Fathers—men, and not just any kind of men. They are praying men. Men who are spiritual leaders, real spiritual warriors.

E.M. Bounds in talking about the great leaders of the past like Paul says:

“They were leaders for God because they were mighty in prayer. They were not leaders because of brilliancy in thought, nor because of the exhaustless resources, their magnificent culture, or their natural endowment; but they were leaders because by the power of prayer, they command the power of God…”

Do our homes need protection? Do our kids face any dangers?Are there forces out there that seek to hurt our spouses?To destroy them?To lead them astray?To steal away – their innocence? Purity? Self worth? Hope? Value? Future? Freedom?

I want to look at three praying dads of the Bible. It is my pray the we can learn something from them… About both, protecting our homes… and praying for our kids…

Prayer is battle – to pray is to go to war. To pray is to ask Almighty God to engage His heavenly army.The things that these dads brought to God – on behalf of their kids, are the same things that we need to bring before God on behalf of our kids.

Job’s Lesson: Pray For Their Purity

From Job we learn that we should pray for the purity of our kids…

Read: Job 1:1-5“There was a man named Job who lived in the land of Uz. He was blameless, a man of complete integrity. He feared God and stayed away from evil.”

These are good qualities for us to have as well. These are qualities of a righteous man that helps our prayers to be powerful and effective.

“He had seven sons and three daughters. He owned seven thousand sheep, 3,00 camels, 500 teams of oxen and 500 female donkeys, and he employed many servants. He was in fact, the richest person in that entire area. Every year when Job’s sons had birthdays, they invited their brothers and sisters to join them for a celebration. On these occasions they would get together to get and drink. When these celebrations ended and sometimes they lasted several days – Job would purify his children. He would get up early in the morning and offer a burnt offering for each of them. For Job said to himself, ‘Perhaps my children have sinned and cursed God in their hearts.’ This was Job’s regular practice.”Note that he sought to “purify his children.” He got up “early in the morning” to do this. And this was his “regular practice.”

All of these are principles we can take and make a part of our lives today.Is their reason to be concerned about the purity of our kids? On a daily basis our kids face an unrelenting onslaught of temptation, through music, television, movies, the Internet and their peers. Like Job – on a regular basis we need to rise up early each morning. Every morning we need to pray that God will protect their purity; that he will keep images and people that would steal that purity away… If our kids our in a relationship we need to pray that it will be pure in the eyes of God. We need to pray that our kids will desire to keep their purity and realize that it is Satan who is trying to steal it away. We need to pray that God will surround then with other kids who also desire purity.And we need to pray that they understand that there is always forgiveness if they fail from God and from us.

If you made a regular practice of praying for the purity of your kids, do you think it would make a difference? James 5:16 reminds us that “The pray of a righteous man is power and effective.” Of course it makes a difference!

Abraham’s Lesson: Pray For Their Future Spouse

The next dad that I want to look at is Abraham. Abraham teaches us to pray or our son and our daughter’s future spouse. In Genesis chapter 24 we see Abraham who at the time was a very old man, doing something that is an awesome example for dads today. Abraham was living in a pretty bad neighborhood and he did not want his son Isaac to marry any of the women there because they were not godly. So he prayed that God would find a wife for Isaac far away from there, back at his hometown. Abraham knew that there, there would be a godly woman for his son. And not only did Abraham pray about this, he also sent a servant there to bring back a wife for Isaac. It’s a beautiful story – God answered that prayer and Isaac and Rebekah are married.

Do you pray for the your son’s future wife? For you daughters future husband? Do think that this is a prayer worth praying? We need to pray that our kids will marry godly people. We need to pray that they have a strong and unyielding desire to marry someone who loves Jesus and His Church. Someone who believes the truth of the Bible. We need to pray that they will marry people that will ‘complete’ them. That will help them become, all that God desires them to be. That will love them with God’s kind of love.We also need to pray for their future husband or wife – that God protects them, protects their purity, protects them from all harm, that they are growing each day in the knowledge of and love for God.

Parents are you praying for your children’s future spouse? Will you start to pray this prayer on a regular basis? Do you think that it would make a difference?And, like Abraham are you, will you – take whatever steps you can to make sure that they do?

David’s Lesson: Pray For Their Desire To Obey God

The next dad I want to look at is David – and in 1 Chronicles 29; David is very old and he prays for His son Solomon…

Look at vs. 19: “Give my son Solomon the wholehearted desire to obey all your commands, decrees and principles, and to build this Temple, for which I have made all these preparations.” We need to pray that our children will have a strong, a consuming desire to obey all the commands of God… and to be actively involved in building His church and advancing God’s kingdom.Why? Because their obedience is how Jesus said they show their love for him…Why? Because God’s word will light their path and led them on the road to true life…Why? Because obeying God’s word will keep them from all the things that happens when they don’t…Why? Because obeying God’s word will make them successful and joyful in life…

Consider what God told Joshua in Joshua 1:9:

“Be strong and very courageous. Obey all the laws Moses gave you. Do not turn away from them, and you will be successful in everything you do. Study the book of the law continually. Mediate on it day and night so you may be sure to obey all that is written in it. Only then will you succeed. Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

Do you believe that praying for you son and daughters to have a wholehearted desire to obey all of God’s word – would make any difference? Do you think that’s an investment that will come back to bless you?

Bill Cosby wrote, "Now that my father is a grandfather he just can’t wait to give money to my kids. But when I was a kid and I asked him for 50 cents, he would tell me the story of his life. How he got up at 5 AM and walked 23 miles to milk 90 cows. And the farmer for whom he worked had no bucket, so he had to squirt the milk into his little hand and then walk 8 miles to the nearest can. All for 5 cents. The result was...I never got my 50 cents.”"But now he tells my children every time he comes into the house, ‘Well, let’s see how much money old Granddad has for his wonderful grandkids.’ And the minute they take money out of his hands I call them over to me and I take it away from them. BECAUSE THAT IS MY MONEY."

Dads, I don’t know about taking the change that grandpa wants to give your kids. But I do know that praying for your kids will change them, and change their future and will bless you and

your family forever. That I do know.
PRAYER
END

A Day at the US Center for World Missions

Today was Day One for me at the US Center for World Missions in Pasadena. I'm taking the famous "Perspectives" course at the USCWM, which is about 8 miles from my church. I'll be blogging some of what we're doing over the next three weeks. For today, let my refer to these links: www.uscwm.org and www.perspectives.org.

One of our assignments involves designing a missions strategy for a Middle Eastern people group. While this information can be gleaned from a web search, I will not use the specific name on the blog for security interests.

Watch this space for further news...

HOW WUDE!

This is my July column for Temple City Life, the local news monthly I write for.

HOW WUDE!

One of the least endearing (translation: too much like a Saturday morning cartoon) characters in the Star Wars epic is Jar Jar Binks, who seems a cross between a vaudeville comic and a tall frog. Jar Jar's verbal ticks includes the inability to pronounce words with the letter R. So at one point he protests the bad behavior of another by indignantly saying, “How wude!”

I was thinking about rudeness recently because of an experience I had—setting up our daughter at college in central Florida. We spent several days there in May and one night over dinner I asked her what her impression of Florida was. “A lot like California,” she said. “Only less rude.”

It was undeniable. People smiled and waved more. They waved you through when making a turn. Sales people in stores were more helpful. I wonder why?

Some people would say, well, that's just the way Southerners are. And there's something to that. Some of the nicest people in the world are from the South. But why aren't people from Boston or Minnesota also known as nice? How did that happen?

As I said, I was thinking about this and realized that big urban areas tend to encourage rudeness. Los Angeles County has the same population as Michigan in a fraction of the area. In a densely populated area, the chances of meeting the same person at random is fairly low. So we can indulge our worse nature with a fairly low chance of having to pay for it sometime down the road.

Go to the other extreme: a small town of a few thousand in Kentucky or Idaho. Chronic rudeness gets you a community-wide reputation pretty quickly. There really are few secrets in small towns, and that's a good thing. That kind of transparency encourages us to good behavior.

Bill Cosby likes to remind us that when he was growing up, even in his Philadelphia neighborhood, that if he misbehaved in the street, there was always an adult nearby who could say, “Boy, I know where you like and I know your parents.” That accountability encourages the best from us.

So, sorry to say, I had the same impression my daughter did about Winter Park, Florida. People were just nicer. And it did remind me of California: palm trees, warm weather, and a salsa-flavored population. But they were just nicer.

So how do we import some Florida niceness to Temple City? I have three simple suggestions: look around, be accountable and look up.

By look around, I mean just because we live with so many people and maybe we can get away with rudeness doesn't mean we ought to. The Golden Rule applies despite any population trend. “Treat other people the way you want to be treated” is always applicable.

By be accountable, I mean the fact that a lot of rudeness loses its grip when we have a community that we will have to face. We have a lot of distinct ethnic segments in Temple City, and its easy to hide within our segment and in effect ignore people with limited English skills, or, if we're part of the immigrant community, it's also easy to stick with “our own” and pretty much ignore the native-born people. To both, I say, “How wude!” It's rude to ignore someone—just as rude as being mean or short-tempered.

As a Christian pastor, one of the transforming things I've seen again and again is a person who's led a relatively isolated life who comes into the church. Over the course of months, it's fascinating—and delightful—to watch them change and connect up with others on a level they never dreamed possible. Part of that connection is a discovery of the positive power of accountability.

Finally, look up. There's an old story—from the South, “I reckon”--about a father and son team of thieves. The father decided to make off with some melons at harvest time and posted his ten-year-old as his look-out. When he had his sack full, he asked the boy, “Anyone to the north?” The answer: “No, pa.” “South?” “No, pa.” “East?” “No, pa.” “West?” “No, pa.” “OK” says the dad. “Let's go.” The boy answered, “You forgot one direction. Up. And ma says God sees us.”

Sure, you could get away with being rude. You can get away with a lot—if you only care about the points of the compass. Look up as well. Don't be “wude”; nice never hurt anybody, did it?